


Commiseration

by jollywriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jollywriter/pseuds/jollywriter
Summary: The world is saved, the Daxamites are gone, and Lena's heartbroken. Can Supergirl save her day?





	Commiseration

**Author's Note:**

> this is fix it fic because obvious reasons. 
> 
> follow me @thejollywriter on Tumblr for more howling about this ship.

Lena Luthor figured that by now she should be used to not being acknowledged. She’d brought the weapon online that even Lex couldn’t manage. She’d stopped her mother, she’d helped Supergirl stop the invasion.

But when the dust settled, and backs were being patted, no one said anything to Lena.

It didn’t surprise her anymore. It still hurt, though.

She sat in her office, behind her desk, and sorted through the paperwork. Every time someone tried to invade earth, and L-Corp was involved in stopping it, the government required a complete accounting of everything that’d gone on so they can keep track of things.

It helped that the only person actively involved in the operation had been Lena. It made it incredibly easy to keep her story straight.

She typed at her computer, and tried to ignore how much her heart ached.

She just wanted a hug from Supergirl. A smile. An acknowledgment that maybe she noticed that she’d helped. She’d said thank you, Supergirl always says thank you. But she’d had lingering moments with Cat and Agent Danvers and Detective Sawyer and Lena found herself drifting to the fringes.

She never found herself at the center of the attention she desired. Maybe this time she’d stop trying.

She stood, went to her drinks table, and poured herself one. She didn’t bother with ice. As she sipped at it, she sat down on her couch.

She didn’t know if it was because she was so tired, because of the emotional strain of the day, or the alcohol affected her more quickly than normal, but Lena began to cry.

They were silent tears, she put her hand over her mouth and shuddered and made no noise as the tears fell down her face. She just poured herself out and tried not to take up any space.

She didn’t want to be here anymore.

Her crying slowed at the realization. She put herself out, she’d tried, _so hard_ , to do the right thing, to be Right, to do better, and it amounted to nothing. Her mother still believed Lex was perfect. That Lena was a mistake. That Lena could never live up to her brother’s accomplishments, madness and all.

She wiped at her eyes. Took another drink. Was there somewhere on earth she could go that her name wouldn’t follow her? Potentially. Either pole. There was an Antarctic research station that monitored the results of global warming and experimented solutions to cool the world. She could easily go there.

But it was still within L-Corp. And anything within her company, Lillian could still dig up.

Lillian. There was nowhere on earth that Lena could go where Lillian couldn’t follow and exploit her. No remote cavern, no Antarctic expedition for research.

Nothing. Lillian would _always_ track her down and try to exploit her.

Lena snapped, she shoved to her feet, clenched the glass and hurled it across the room with all her might.

Supergirl caught it.

Lena immediately flushed, looked away, and Supergirl looked incredibly sheepish. She huddled in on herself. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t eavesdropping.”

“I’m sorry,” Lena took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have thrown it.”

“I kick things sometimes,” Supergirl shrugged. “It’s easier than trying to actually process emotion.”

“If you find a healthy way to do that, let me know. I could use it.”

Supergirl nodded. She looked tired. Her hair was matted and despite being wind-blown, she looked worn out.

Lena looked away.

“Should I leave?” Supergirl asked. “I don’t want to intrude. But you didn’t seem to be okay when you left earlier. And I wanted to check on you.”

Lena had no idea how to respond. She faced Supergirl, put on a brave face and said, “I’m fine. Just, tired of dealing with my mother.” It sounded like a good lie.

An image came, unbidden, to Lena’s mind. Rhea, turned to stone, a personified gargoyle.

Lena looked away again. She took slow breaths to try and compose herself. Rhea had let her down, too. She’d presented herself as a mentor, and friend, a mother figure that Lena could honestly relate to and feel safe and validated by.

And she was no different than Lillian.

She just treated Lena like a consumable resource. Something to be acquired, used, and discarded when done.

Lena slumped. A lot of people treated her that way. And she was struggling not to project that anger onto Supergirl.

“What’s wrong?” Supergirl asked. She put the glass down.

Lena clenched her teeth, “I’m not sure I want to tell you. Because I’m not okay and what I told you would not be nice.”

“Lena,” Supergirl moved closer to her and Lena took a step back, defensive. Supergirl stopped in her tracks, her eyes briefly wide with surprise and fear. “Lena, please, talk to me.”

The words came unbidden to Lena’s mind and she couldn’t keep herself composed when she asked, “Do I even matter to you?”

Supergirl was quiet for a moment, her eyes totally focused on Lena, and for every second that ticked past, Lena’s heart fractured more. Lena recognized the look on Supergirl’s face. She was getting ready to lie to her. To invent something and—

“Lena,” Supergirl’s voice shook as she spoke. Lena wasn’t prepared for that. Supergirl continued, “Whatever I have done to make you think that you are not the most important person in my life, I am sorry for. And I want to fix.”

Lena’s heart ached. She longed to believe her, she wanted to, she wanted to matter, but it couldn’t be true. After Rhea, Lillian, this couldn’t be true.

Dreams don’t come true if you’re a Luthor named Lena. You just survive the calamities and hope the stock prices don’t dip too low.

“Lena, I have something I need to tell you.”

Lena’s heart skipped and broke and she was terrified.

“I have kept a secret from you. I mean. I did it to protect you. And me. Mostly you. So no one can exploit you against me,” Supergirl looked away. “But plenty of people exploit you anyway. So. Well. Um. I’m Kara.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. Of all the revelations Supergirl could’ve put in front of her, that was not the expected on.

“Kara Danvers?” Supergirl continued, to fill the horrible silence that was Lena’s non-reaction.

“I know who you are, dummy,” Lena crossed her arms. “I’ve known for a long time. I just expected a kind of world shattering revelation. Not confirmation of something I’ve suspected forever.”

Kara slumped. “How long have you known?”

“I’ve known, almost definitively, since you caught me when those thugs pushed me off my balcony.”

“I told a great lie. What gave me away?” Kara seemed genuinely hurt by that.

“Why would Supergirl and Kara be having coffee at eleven o’clock on a weeknight?”

Kara looked away, and blushed.

Some of the tension was defused between them, but not much. Not enough.

“I told you that to say, you do matter to me.” Kara said. She took a slow step towards Lena. Lena did not retreat. “You are important to me in the same way that Maggie is important to Alex.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. That couldn’t be true.

“Why would you tell me that?” Lena asked.

“What?” Kara stopped moving.

“Why would you tell me that? I don’t believe you.”

Kara flinched, “Why would I lie to you?”

“I don’t know but everyone I have ever loved, lies. I’m nothing to them, I’m a means to an end, I’m just something they use up and throw away and—“ tears flowed freely down Lena’s face and there was nothing quiet about her crying now. She was exhausted and fractured and broken and hurt she’d successfully kept suppressed her entire life boiled over and out of her and she couldn’t stop it. And Kara caught all of it.

Kara advanced, caught Lena in her arms as Lena’s knees gave out and they both sank to the floor, Lena sobbing and weak against Kara, Kara kneeing and holding Lena.

“I got you,” Kara’s voice shook as she ran her fingers gently through Lena’s hair while she held her tight. “You can cry. I’ve got you.”

Lena didn’t want to cry. She wanted to hold herself together, for once, to stand strong in the face of something and not be afraid or weak. To face something with the obvious grit that her mother exhibited.

That was the only thing she wanted to do like her mother.

“I’m sorry,” Lena took slow breaths to calm herself. “I didn’t want to do this.”

“You’ve kept a lot bottled up,” Kara’s voice was thick with emotion. She sniffed.

“I didn’t mean to unload on you. You lost your boyfriend tonight.”

“That’s like the fourth time I’ve tried but it’s the first time it’s stuck.”

Lena looked up.

“He’s a garbage fire. I can’t defend anything he did anymore. And, mostly, I’m just sad because the one reason I kept forgiving him was a lie.”

“What do you mean?” Lena looked up at Kara. Their faces were so close together, she could smell Kara’s perfume and the dust from the fights she’s had and Lena was intoxicated by her presence. By her hands on Lena’s arms, the feeling of Kara’s hard body against hers.

It would be incredibly easy to build a life where Kara was the foundation.

“I forgave him the world because I thought he was the last Daxamite. I knew his pain, you know? For all of Superman’s ‘The last Son of Krypton’ he doesn’t remember it. He’s only got picture and notes. I remember what the air smelled like and what Rao’s red sun felt like on my skin and all my friends and family and I watched my world burn.” Kara looked away. “I thought Mon-El knew what that felt like. And it felt good, sometimes, just knowing that there was someone who understood what I feel.” Kara’s lip trembled. “But he doesn’t. I don’t know if he ever did. And that hurts.”

Lena turned, got on her knees, and took Kara into her arms. “I got you, now.” Lena said. “If you’ll have me. I haven’t lost my world, but I remember my parents. And I remember losing them. And I remember being adopted by Lillian and how that felt.”

“Yeah,” Kara’s voice was quiet. “I’ve met your mother. That counts.”

Lena laughed, outright, Supergirl coughed a laugh, and Lena pulled back. She brushed her thumbs under Kara’s eyes, wiped the tears away.

“I’ve got you. If you’ll have me.”

“All I want,” Kara said, very slowly, “The only thing I want, on this earth, is you.”

For one, awful, tantalizing moment, Lena let herself believe that. When she spoke, her voice was but a whisper.

“Do you mean that?”

Kara reached up, framed Lena’s face in her hands, and brushed Lena’s own tears away.

“I do. I really do.”

Lena smiled, and this time her tears were of overwhelming joy.

“Um.” Kara looked into Lena’s eyes. And briefly at her lips. “My timing may be poor. But I’ve thought about this for a long time. And. Um. Well. Can I kiss you? I’m sorry. That’s weird and I shouldn’t ask but—“

“Yes,” Lena looked at Kara’s lips and Kara gasped, quietly, as Lena leaned in, “You may.”

They pulled each other together, and their lips touched. Lena was wrong before. Kara wasn’t hard.

Kara was the softest girl in the world.

 

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I REGRET NOTHING


End file.
